The biggest thing lost in Ipswich lacrosse cigar story is an opportunity to teach accountability

Why would the parents go to these lengths? Why not just teach their children to own it?

Every year, high school graduation season proves itself fertile for life lessons. Ideally, before sending our kids out into the world, we would arm them with a little extra resolve to make the right call.

It’s unfortunate what some Ipswich parents, by their example this week, chose to teach their kids about accountability.

The boys’ lacrosse players whose state championship dreams went up in smoke had a chance to learn about the consequences of their actions. They could have owned their mistakes.

Instead, some parents showed them this: When caught, concoct a cover story and be loud about it .

This odd saga in Massachusetts high school sports centers on some seniors who enjoyed some cigars at a beach after graduation. This column centers on some of their parents, who forfeited an opportunity to lead with integrity.

The Ipswich boys’ lacrosse team was headed to the Division 4 state semifinal when someone posted photos of some of them with cigars. In one, the cigars were full-length and unlit. In another, they appeared to be smoking them.

The MIAA’s rules are clear about tobacco. For athletes, possessing it means a suspension, as does using it, selling or buying it, or giving it away. Same goes for alcohol and other drugs. Principals decide whether the bylaws were broken.

So Ipswich principal Jonathan Mitchell, after reviewing the photos and consulting with superintendent Brian Blake, said the players would be suspended for the June 9 game against Cohasset. Because enough teammates sat out in solidarity, the school decided to forfeit .

A college football coach I once covered used to fret about his quarterbacks ”turning a bad play into a catastrophe.” This describes what two Ipswich lacrosse parents did next.

Rather than taking the ‘L’ and teaching their kids that the truth matters, John Gianakakis and Drew Wile doubled down.

In interviews and in Mitchell’s office this week, they claimed the cigars were “fake,” hand-rolled props made of chamomile and English breakfast tea. Gianakakis, a mechanic , said he had taken up cigar rolling. He was helping the kids participate in a long-held senior tradition.

On Tuesday, in bodycam video from a police officer Mitchell asked to be present because the men were heated, they berated the principal in his office for the decision to suspend the players. Wile claimed Mitchell “got bullied” into it by the superintendent.

“You gotta have courage to stand up to a bully,” he said in the video. “You gotta have courage.”

“We looked at all the evidence,” Mitchell began to reply.

“What evidence? You have two pictures,” Wile interjected, adding that he and Gianakakis had “nothing to hide. Not a damn thing.”

Said Gianakakis at one point: “It’s a fake cigar, it’s been proven. Now you’re telling all us parents, all us adults … that we’re liars.”

Either they were telling the truth, Mitchell said elsewhere, or it could be the most elaborate ruse he had ever seen.

Wile, in response: “Unbelievable, isn’t it?”

In the photos , the cigars look like, well, cigars: uniformly made, tightly wrapped, evenly combusting . If that is their amateur handiwork, they might consider going pro.

The superintendent and principal did not have to read the tea leaves here. On a receipt the men had provided to them for the cigar-making supplies, the date and time of purchase had been smudged out, they said in a statement . At Shaw’s, a store manager found a duplicate.

The sale happened on Monday, the officials said, about 20 minutes after Mitchell alerted six families via email about the potential violation and impending investigation.

Why would the parents go to these lengths? Why not just teach their children to own it? That’s the missed opportunity here. I am guessing that at the 20-year reunion, some of the players may come to realize that, if they haven’t already.

“I’m embarrassed for you,” Wile said to Mitchell, in the heat of his defense. “It’s a gong show around here, and it has been for a long time.”

“You’re entitled to your opinion, Drew,” Mitchell replied. “We’re not going to settle that argument today.”

Whether those in charge accept it — and kudos to Mitchell and Co. for not doing so here — lying and deflecting has become standard practice in our country today. As if we needed another reminder.

Matt Porter can be reached at matthew.porter@globe.com . Follow him on BlueSky at mattyports.bsky.social.